Saturday, January 25, 2014

A Spread Laughter Project

(Return often to read the additions from the large collection I carry in my mind.)

     Whether it is a slight smile, a full smile, a chuckle or outright laughter, it is enjoyable for oneself and gratifying when you have produced one of those for someone else.

     Make certain to always have with you, in your memory, at least two riddles, plus a spare, that you can tell to everyone you encounter.

     After spreading laughter with riddles for many years, I have found that ~
     1 ~ There are two ways to introduce a riddle,
              ~ Just ask "Do you know why...."
              ~ Politely say, "May I ask you a question?"
                       ~ Most people say "yes," only 3 women and one man said "No! Don't bother me!!!"
          To those people, say in your most sympathetic tone, "I am so sorry that you have had such a difficult day so far."

     2 ~ Never try to explain a riddle to anyone who says
"I don't get it."
          ~ Just smile sweetly and say, "I am certain that you will when you think about it."

     3 ~ Do not be surprised that many people will want to hug you as they repeatedly thank you for giving them something to laugh about. 

     One of my nicest compliments came from a clerk, Keith, with whom I often exchanged comments when I shopped at Whole Foods Store.  He was working in the far aisle, when I got there, he said "I knew you were coming because I kept hearing laughter getting closer and closer."

     Remember that these are riddles, not jokes.  I have a few un-true stories, (I do not like the word - jokes) to share with you another time.

     Of course, you do know, that all riddles must be ~ nice ~.         No put downs of people, religion, race, country of origin,or creed ~.

    Through the years, after I shared a riddle, I often said to myself "I am clever, why can't I think of a riddle?"  Then one day, I decided to change my words to "I am clever, I can think of riddles."

     So, I said to myself my first riddle is~ about a ~ (the word, pigs jumped into my mind)  "What about pigs?"  I asked myself.  And suddenly, all the rest came into my mind ~ and I laughed.

Why don't pigs fly?
               (Because they are afraid of heights.)

Then recently, about a year later, the following came into my mind.

How do you know that a multi-level parking garage is unhappy?
       (It is in tiers.)


What can you never repeat?
       (Anything done for the 1st time.)

     There are few places, where riddles can not be told, places I have told one or two ~ on a stretcher going into an Emergency Room, going into an Operating Room, asked loudly in a public so-called "rest" room, people who telephone requesting money are appreciative, asking people ahead and behind you in a line, etc.

     Enjoy all the appreciative people you will meet as a result of your Riddle Gifts.

     Enjoy the good feeling of knowing that you have left a trail of laughter.

What do you get when you cross a brook and a creek?
       (Wet feet.)

How do you arrange for a space party?
       (You planet.)

How do you make antifreeze? Ask this in the winter.
       (Take away her nightgown.)

There are two goldfish in a tank.  What did one say to the other?
       (You man the gun, I'll drive.)

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses as she looked at her class?
       (They were all so bright.)

Why don't pigs fly?
       (Because they have not finished their classes at flight school.)


What color is rain on a metal roof?
       (Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink.)

Where did the man work who was given more money because he was always loafing?
       (A bread factory)

Do the British have a Fourth of July?
       (Yes, and a third and a fifth.)

What did the bald man say when he was given a comb for his birthday?
       (Thanks, I'll never part with it.")

Where do penguins keep their money?
     (In a snow bank)
 
Why don't clams like to share?
     (Because they are shell fish)
 
How much does a pirate have to pay for corn?
     (A buck an ear)

Everyone knows why 6 was afraid of 7 (because 7, 8 ,9)
but do you know what the zero said to the eight?
         (Nice belt)

What gets bigger the more you take away from it?
          (A hole)

What do you call a belt made of watches?
          (A waist of time)

Why was the man fired from the orange juice factory?
          (Because he could not concentrate)

Non-riddles

Did you hear of the man who woke up February 2nd, saw his shadow, and went back to bed?

Did you hear about the woman who thought that she was going to have puppies because her stomach growled?
 
     When, possible I like to ask a riddle that is appropriate to a person's profession ~ to a bank teller, the penguin riddle, ~ in a grocery store any riddle about food.
 
     Surprise, please and amuse people in a waiting room, especially in a doctor's office with riddles.
 
Become an Active Participant,
and enlist others in this
Spread Laughter Project.

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