Joan Eastman-Bennett's Helpful Blog

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Have You Heard About The Traveling Salesman...

...who every night had to stay in a cheap room to save money. One very hot night, the heat in the room was so stifling he could not sleep and he had endured a great many difficult situations in the past...noisy exposed metal bed springs, rats, icicles, loud voices, dreadful smells, he had managed to get some sleep in them all. This room, however, made him feel that he was deep inside of a furnace.

He had tried opening the single window when he had first entered the room, but it was screwed shut. Desperate for some cool outside air, without turning on a light, it would just make the room hotter, he threw one of his shoes at the window and was rewarded by the sound of breaking and falling glass.

"Ah~h, how good that cool air feels," he said aloud, "now I'll be able to sleep." And he did.

Awakening refreshed, he made a baffling discover, his thrown shoe had not broken the window, the shards of glass were on the top of the dresser from that shattered mirror.

~ ~ ~

Many times through my childhood, my father related this true story to illustrate the power of the mind.

In the mid 1900's, the famous minister of Marble Collegiate Church on 5th Avenue in New York City, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale authored a book whose title The Power of Positive Thinking has entered the popular culture and is often used by a wide variety of people.

Our minds propelled by a strong purpose

can achieve amazing results.

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Greetings: I have based many of these monthly writings on quotes from family and friends. What meaningful quotes have your family and/or friends said that you can share? Email the quote(s) and a sentence or two concerning each, plus your name, town and state to joaneastben@mail.com

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Like Olympic Champions, Plan To Win, Not Just To Do Your Best

The Olympics has generated numerous interesting programs on radio, television and online media. During these programs, there have often been interviews with both Olympics champions and their coaches.

Repeatedly heard was, "I never said that I would do my best, I always said I'd win the race."

Coaches said, "To be champions, they have to constantly think and say that they will win, that they are the best."

The champion athletes set goals, affirmed for them and work to them. It is usually said that one works "towards" her/his goals, however, the word "towards" does not indicate that one has reached the goal or even that she/he ever really anticipated doing so.

These are certainly not the people who say, "I just take one day at a time and try to get through it." (delete, delete) "I'm lucky if I can get a week planned." (delete, delete).

This day-by-day attitude is a tread-water situation that while basically keeping one afloat, achieves little. Those who swim to a boat or to the shore have sought their goal and achieved it.

So determine your goals daily, monthly as well as "By this time next year, I will have achieved..."

Think and say Goal affirmations regularly,

knowing that to do so will

allow them to become true.

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Thursday, July 28, 2016

Are You Making Yourself Sick?

On a call-in radio program recently, a woman said, "Although, I'm sick, I just had to call to tell you that I am sick and tired of all the yelling the candidates are doing, I am really tired of it! Neither one of them is acting with the dignity and good manners for a president. I am sick and tired of it all!"

Most likely, this woman does not have the slightest idea that she is strongly affirming for health conditions she would not want.
The woman is unknowingly experiencing the power of affirmations, repeatedly said words become reality.

Strange is that she has not listened to herself, to her own words. If someone were to call it to her attention, she would probably say as numerous other people have done and do ~ "Oh, its just an expression, it doesn't mean anything."

What is so difficult to understand about the simple word ~ sick, even young children know the meaning of that word as well as the equally as obvious word ~ tired. Most children have personally experienced the condition that those words describe and know that they are undesirable. Where between childhood and adulthood had common sense departed?

I am an expert on this subject because of the many unwanted conditions and situations that resulted from my previously said "ill chosen" words.

Frank is an intelligent man with numerous talents including being a gifted healer. There was one unnecessary word that he often used even when he gave talks.

I was just beginning to understand the power of words. I pondered his often used word, an idea came into my mind, a question to ask Frank, a very personal question, I did not know him very well, did I dare? I decided that God had given me this knowledge for a reason and therefore that I did not have a choice.

Taking a deep breather, I telephoned Frank and after telling him my name, I put the expected question aside and said it as a statement instead, "You have a continuing problem with constipation, I know because of what you regularly and often say."

"Well, yes," he said hesitantly, "but I certainly don't want it so what could I possibly be saying?"

"You are using the word ~ damn ~ and when it is said, it could be d~a~m, which means to stop anything behind it from continuing. Your body knows that this is a condition that you must really want because you say it so often."

"Are you sure that I use the word a lot, I don't remember..."

"Stop, never put the words, 'I don't' in front of the word...remember... that is also an affirmation and you want to always keep your memory and mind in excellent working condition."

"Do not substitute the word ~ darn ~ for damn, because that word means to 'sew together a hole.' Thus closing the opening.

I have been finding for myself and other people a substitute word, but for you, it would be better if you wrote the word on, at least, ten pieces of paper or index cards, then put a large black X over the word, place a card in every room in your apartment, one in both your car and your pant's packet." I told Frank, "Also, tell a close friend or someone you see often that you have been told that the word ~ damn ~ is not in keeping with your profession so anytime s/he hears you say the word to say ~ beep ~ and you will give her/him a dollar. Do not make any other changes. Telephone me when the condition no longer exists."

"It can't be that simple," Frank said, "but I'll try it."

"Trying will not work, that is a weak word. Say, 'I will do that' and there will be results."

"Be careful," I told Frank, "that when you do your affirmation which you should say several times a day, that you do not create the reverse condition."

About ten days later, my secretary reported a strange message on the answering machine, no name just, "All clear, thank you so much."

Read the excellent book,

"You Body Believes Every Word You Say"

by Barbara Hoberman Levine.

Say what you mean

And mean what you say

All parts of my body and mind

are in excellent condition

now and forever. ~

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Thursday, June 30, 2016

Forgiving Is Enabling

     Great multitudes of books and articles as well as sermons and lectures through the ages have been produced on the subject of forgiveness.

     However, the majority seem to have missed two major aspects.
          ~ To forgive is to allow a person to avoid taking responsibility for or to have any discomfort for an action.
          ~ To forgive allows the person "To get away with" unacceptable behavior."

     By absolving the act or occurrence, it removes the opportunity for the offender to have learned the needed life lessons.

     It is bad enough when a person dishonors you, but much worse is when you have so little respect for yourself that you allow yourself to be disrespected.

     Even if the offender says, "Please forgive me," this, "Kiss and make up" so-called solution is not the solution because it makes you an enabler.

     The word ~ enabler ~ was first in public awareness through Alcoholics Anonymous, referring to people who purchased alcoholic beverages for alcoholics.

     Those enablers thought that they were being nice, so too are the people who too quickly forgive someone who has said or done a mental or physical hurtful act or action.

     As soon as the offense occurs, if you are together, tell the offender, "Your remark is unkind (hurtful, disrespectful, uncalled for).

     An often good response, instead of an angry snap back comment is to quietly ask, "What was the purpose of your remark?"

     I was pleased with myself when I responded to an insulting remark by a so-called friend by saying "Your are really amazing, I know that you have had a great deal of practice to have truly mastered the art of the insulting, hurtful remark. If prizes were given, you would certainly win First Prize."

     If possible, I leave or if said on the telephone, I say, "Your comment is disrespectful" and I immediately discontinue the call.

     When the offender says, "Oh, I didn't really mean it."

     A response could be, "You are too smart (or intelligent) to say something that you do not mean."

     If an offender says, "Forgive me," reply with, "Why should I forgive you? What is the benefit of such an action? What will you do to balance your action if I decide later to do so?"

     I personally, and many other people have followed my advice after an unkind or insulting remark, I leave, I do not stay with the remark maker.

     One disrespectful, teasing or hurtful remark could, after a time, be forgiven, however, if such behavior continues, have respect for yourself ~ move on ~ to meet new to you people, who can become new friends and new experiences.

~ Think Through All Aspects Carefully,

Avoid Being An Enabler ~

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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Fathers Often Said Words

     Sad it is that only one woman and two men of the many people who I asked to tell me some of their father's often said words, could not think of even one single word.

     Were their fathers mute men? Did they never listen, really listen to what their fathers said? Were their fathers unimportant in their lives? Were all of those people so involved in their own life activities that they never made time to spend any with their fathers?

     Perhaps, their childhood and adulthood was not family oriented as was mine. Surprising too are the people with a living father, who were reluctant to discuss the topic with that parent .

~ ~ ~

"If you play hard than the other team,

you'll beat the other team."

David Caffery, Executive Assistant, Berkeley Heights, New Jersey says that his father regularly told him and his teammates of the travelling baseball team that he coached this worthwhile advice. If you really want to achieve a goal, you must work diligently to obtain it. Too many people seem to expect their goals to just magically slide into their home plate, while they leisurely watch from the side lines.

~ ~ ~

"Take a stand for something, or you will fall for anything."

Bob, manager of a large store in New Jersey immediately recalled that this famous quote by Alexander Hamilton is a favorite of his father's.

A worthy quote that has inspired many people through the years.

~ ~ ~

Joan Nathanson of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada sent a mini-biography of her most interesting, multi-skilled father. She wrote that, "My father's teaching career began in a one-room schoolhouse as soon as he was graduated from high school. He attended university, graduating in Honors Science and the Ontario College of Education. He began his secondary school teaching career and except for being seconded to teach radio to young soldiers during WW II, continued there to retirement. He and two other tech teachers developed the first radio and electronics courses in Ontario, and he authored the first high school correspondence course on electronics."

"After seeing a photo of water skiing in Austria in a Toronto newspaper, he built a pair of plywood skis and took me out on a lake to try water skiing. He also built a one-man helicopter that could be towed behind a boat. Students in his class built a TV when they were first coming into production. One year, they built an electronic organ, using reeds from old pump organs that had been donated to the project. He devised hand controls for a Morris Mini-Minor station wagon for a friend of mine who was a paraplegic so that she could be independently mobile."

"Dad had a very positive view on life: 'I can do anything anyone else can do, only slower.' That allowed him to try his hand at the things which interested him. It also excused him from worrying about what he couldn’t do."

~ ~ ~

I have quoted my Father, Loren Eastman-Bennett, numerous times in my varied writing though the years as I will continue to do. One quote not previously mentioned is ~ "Bravale dicto" ~ a phrase that my Father often used primarily when introducing or showing my sister, our Mother and me some aspect of nature. These words were usually spoken in a quiet tone sometimes even in a whisper when we were quietly beckoned to a window to observe a nearby bird, to see a glorious sunset, to watch dramatic lightning flashes in a night sky, interspaced with dramatic growls of thunder.

On a mid-summer's eve, my Father woke my sister and me then whispered the two words as he beckoned to us to follow him outside, there we found a gentle rain in which we all, in pajamas and mother in her nightgown, walked out into, enjoying the wet grass under our bare feet and watching how a single rain drop made its way across a leaf.

So many wonderful memories associated with two words that my Father had learned in a college Latin class play in which he spoke those two words.

Bravale dicto translates as ~ "Wonders to behold," which is what he introduced to my sister and me.

~ ~ ~

If you are a father, what words or quotes will your child or children associate with you, or will you be a blank?

Make space in your life

for long talks with your Father

just two of you, nothing electric.

Share a sunset

while sitting side by side

in lawn chairs.

How Well Do You Really Know Your Father?

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Thursday, April 28, 2016

Many Mothers Messages

On a Mother's Day, a radio reporter took a microphone out to a city sidewalk to ask a question of pedestrians. "What words did or does your mother say often?"

One man's quick response was

"It is nice to be important,

and

Important to be nice."

Just from those few words, an impression of a caring and loving mother comes to mind with a knowing that this man's childhood was happy.

~ ~ ~

In great contrast is the firefighter, whose reply to the question was "Don't beat up on your brothers." He said that he was the oldest of seven boys and that they were always fighting.

"What kind of childhood did you have?" I asked him.

"Awful, my parents were always yelling at each other and us."

How much better would his childhood and parent's life have been if the family motto had been that of the earlier quote.

The word ~ don't ~ is not a teaching word unless it is followed by ~ do ~ words. Phrases such as ~ "Be nice" ~ have no value unless a child has been taught what ~ nice ~ is and how to do.

~ ~ ~

"When in Greece

do as the Greeks do."

Nancy Morrisson, Livingston, New Jersey.

A receptionist at Restoration Pro said that her mother wanted her to honor the traditions and customs of others.

All American passports should have those words printed prominently on them to discourage the often disgraceful behavior and demands of too many Americans when visiting other countries.

~ ~ ~

A friend responded to the question with silence. I started to repeat the question, but she interrupted to say, "I heard the question, I was trying to think of something, my mother was a party person, she was always going to parties or giving parties. She did say that a woman should always have a secret bank account from her husband."

~ ~ ~

Jane Lyle Wise, Georgetown, Texas

A retired nurse. She said that when she wanted to do something other children were doing, her mother often did not allow her to do so saying, "I'm only responsible for you not the other children."

A wise mother sets her own family values and maintains them.

~ ~ ~

Lindsay Garza, Lenexa, Kansas

A telephone caller. "Mothers are never sick."

That also indicates a loving, concerned mother.

~ ~ ~

Coming first into my mind about the most often used words of my own mother are:

"I love you, honey" and "I am so proud of you."

These two sentences are powerful life energizers for anyone of any age, especially a child.

~ ~ ~

If you are a mother do in-depth thinking about what words your children will automatically associate with you.

Mothers Are Wonderful

What Would We Have Done Without Them

Often Tell Your Mother You Love Her

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Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Never In Thought Or Speech Will 'You' Claim...

When writing a long running magazine series on the power of words, I converted the age old saying of ~ "Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it" into ~

Never

In Thought or Speech

Will I

Claim or Personalize

A Situation or A Condition or A Disease

That I Do Not Want

For Myself

For Others

This means that under no circumstances should you (or I) ever put the words ~ I have ~ in front of any 'unwanteds'. If you discover yourself thinking or saying an 'unwanted,' firmly say, ~ 'Delete, delete, at no time will I claim that which I do not want.

Often thought thoughts and spoken words/phrase become affirmation and affirmation become reality.

A great multitude of people found that Affirmation to be exceedingly helpful and made copies of it to put in their car and at various places in their living and work places.

There is a another version of that original Affirmation, you choose which one suits you best or alternate them ~

Always

In Thought & In Speech

I Will

Claim & Personalize

The Very Best and Perfect Outcome

To A Situation, A Condition, Or A Disease

That I Need or Want

For Myself

For Others

~ All Is Well and Good In My Life ~