What Fathers Said

     Since June contains Fathers Day, it is appropriate to ask various people to recall an often said sentence by their Father.

     This is the second year that I have collected and then, as now, I have learned aspects in the life of several of my close friends that greatly surprised me as I had just assumed that they, like I, had had a "normal" happy childhood and a loving relationship with their Father.

     I asked my friend, Bill what he remembered of his his Father's words.  His facial expression changed to one of sadness combined with grim acceptance as he said slowly, "Yes, I remember, because he said it so often, it wasn't good."  There was a long silence, "When my two brothers and I wanted to tell him something, he would firmly and authoritatively say, 'I am your Father, not your friend!' "

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    Elaine Raymond, Director, ComForcare, Mountainside, NJ
    "My Father often said, 'Money doesn't grow on trees so be careful how you use it."

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     Keith Rizzo, Card Specialist, Lake Mary, Florida

     "As I got to my dating age, my Father, Sam Rizzo, repeatedly told me, 'I had better never hear of you mistreating a woman, you are always to be polite and open doors and car doors for her.' "

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     A nice man, who identified himself only as Mike D. of New Jersey quickly recalled a quote from his Father.

     "Time keeps passing, so you may as well be doing something productive."

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     Craig Bagley of Old Bridge, New Jersey said that his Father, (with the same name) from Jackson, New Jersey often said, "There's nothing worst than wasted talent."

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     I handwrote a letter to a distant friend requesting a quote of her Father, who had "stepped over" many years ago.

     Although, I was pleased that she responded quickly with a requested quote, I was surprised that all she could recall was a short sentence, supposedly funny concerning termites.

     I wrote her that I felt that the termite comment was disrespectful to her Father and that I wanted a quote that would be helpful to readers.

     If you, like my friend, can not seem to recall any words, drive alone to a quiet nature place with a pad of paper (nothing electronic) a pen and a photograph or several, then talk to your Father, writing what you say, then listening with your inner ears.  It may take several sessions, do not despair, continue.  People report worthwhile results.

What do you remember your Father saying?

If you are a Father or an Uncle, what words are the children in your life going to remember that you often said?

Happy Day To You And Your Mother

     I affirm that you have as many happy memories of your mother as I do, whether she is in physical or has "stepped over" as my God Guides term the transition to the other side.

     It is not only surprising, but quite sad, perhaps a stronger word is needed, that when I asked eight people to tell me a quote from their mother, all but one could not think of any words of wisdom from their mothers. 

     An older man said that the only words he could remember about his mother was that she was always angrily yelling at him, "Oh, shut up!"  He could not recall any thoughtful actions that she had ever done for him and he had left home at fourteen.

     My long-time friend, Marge Ensinger from Richboro, Pennsylvania responded to tell about her very nice mother, who I was glad to know.

     "Mrs. Doris (McChesney) Pott, my mother, NEVER wanted to see anything on top of her Bible.  If anything was there, she moved it off.  Her Bible was God's Word and Sacred.  She said to me, her daughter, 'Marge, read something from the Bible EVERY day, even if it is only one verse.'  I think of her words very often."

     A favorite quote from my own mother,

 "We each have our Book of Life with its many chapters.  Some people do not know when to stop a chapter, not realizing that a new chapter can not begin until a chapter ends."

In a time of quietness, 
think of your own mother, 
even if you see her every day.  
Ask your memory to bring forth 
some of your mothers' words.

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"Kick The Bucket" no! No! NO!

      Multitudes of people are casually conversing about their, “Bucket List” or “Before I kick the bucket,” then speaking of one or two experiences that they want to have before they reach the end of their present life.

     When asked the meaning of the phrases, people’s usual response is, “It’s just an expression.”

     “But expressions,” I tell them, “have origins and stem from a basic reason.”

     When the true meaning of this phrase is known, people stop using it.

     Originally buckets were made of wood, they were sturdy and heavy.  When empty and turned upside down, they were often used as stools for a child or an adult to sit on or for anyone to stand on for a little extra height to reach up above.

     Despondent men with no hope, stood on a bucket, threw a rope up over a strong tree branch about a foot above their head, made the rope into a slip knot noose, put their head in the noose, then with one foot kicked the bucket out from under their other foot, thus committing suicide.  It was dreadful for the people who found the hung men.

     Use the simple, “On my ‘To Do’ list,” then say what accomplishments and travel you want to do.

     Learn the original meaning of a phrase before using it.

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When You Are 100 And Look Back...

on your life, are you pleased and satisfied or saddened and regretful with your choices?

     A man in his forties has specialized in taking a large variety of drugs, cheating and stealing from family, friends and others.  He has spent a great deal of his life in both jails and prisons.  He should have been an actor because he has been so good at convincing rehab workers, even police, that he is cured; then usually on the day he is released, the whole cycle starts again.

     A major contrast is Joan Nathanson of Edmonton, Ontario Canada.  She is a high powered gal in her late seventies who has done and is doing a great many interesting and worthwhile projects.  This is part of the list she sent at my request.

     Formerly "Jill of All Trades," including swimming, introductory French, and driving instruction; providing leadership in Christian Education nationally, locally and on campus; medical office management and secretarial services; editing of bi-monthly regional news insert in The United Church of Canada's national magazine; dowsing instruction and intuitive counselling.

     Volunteer work as a speaker, founder and initial executive director of Canadians Concerned About Violence in Entertainment; member of the regional and later national Communications Committees of The United Church of Canada; President of the Hamilton and District Council of Women, Media Convener then President of the National Council of Women of Canada; Board Member and President of the Canadian Society of Dowsers; Member of the American Society of Dowsers' quarterly digest editorial team.

     Avoid being a One Subject Person.  Look for diversity in your life, create a check off list of many and varied categories, then each year, explore one or several of the subjects to enrich your life.  

     When you are 100 years old and someone asks about your life, will you be glad that you had the same boring job since high school, then went to your small furnished studio apartment to play video games and eat TV dinners?

Chase dreams and experiences,

live your life to the fullest.

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And Speaking Of Love...

      as many people do in this month each year:

      It is wonderful when one’s most special in-all-the-world person verbally expresses love to you, but even more thrilling is when that person handwrites those words in a letter that can be read and reread countless times then and for years thereafter.  However, a handwritten, with pen on paper note or letter, is a forever gift.  It can be repeatedly read in its beginning and on your one hundredth birthday.  In those middle years, rereading can bring to mind a variety of emotions whether that person is still in your life or not.  Those letters and the memories that they bring forth are often barometers of your mental growth and accomplishments since then.

    It is a truly wonderful marriage, if after eight years, one can write to their mate, as did my Aunt Gladys to her husband, Bill, while she was visiting her parents in another state.

     The flowers and the boxes of candy you received two or longer years ago are long gone with just a wisp of memory of them remaining perhaps, now with no certainty of the sender.

     Love letters or notes are important to write to loved ones, even those you see everyday as my parents and my Bennett grandparents often did to their mates.

     “Dear Heart, I miss you so continuously that there’s just no explaining how I need and wish for you.  There couldn’t be anyone else for me ever ~ for you are me.  It’s perfectly natural that I could enjoy things only half as much as I would were the other half of me along.”

     And in another letter, “Every time a letter comes from you, every time your picture meets my eye, every time just a thought of you comes to me, I thrill at the wonder of your belonging to me!”

     Retrieved from my carefully saved files is my first love letter from my classmate, Duncan when we were five years of age.  On a four inch wide band of cream colored paper folded in half to make a card, there is a sagging red heart on the front, inside in red crayon:

Dear Joan

      I like you.

      You are nice.

Love

         Duncan

     Paul and I met on a Europe-bound ocean liner, he was returning to his native Germany after a long absence.  A friend and I were starting a three and a half month trip in Europe.  It was love at second sight.  Paul met us at various places and we wrote to each other not only on the trip, but for two years thereafter.  Although we loved each other deeply, he loved his executive job and country and I, my increasingly successful business.  But I enjoy rereading his letters.

     Excerpts from three of Paul’s once a week letters in his distinctive script writing:

     “When I see something particularly beautiful or watch something amusing, two eyes are missing to share these things with me.”

     “I can write two postcards full of praise for Salzburg ~ I can’t (and don’t want to) walk through the town without you very near and holding my hand.”

     “When I order a drink or two, each is a cheers to you and a special thanks that you are, in spite of distance, so close that you make every moment joyful!”

     “Thank you for loading up my battery of feeling so happy!  And when the band played our songs, I did not get too blues ~ I was sitting on a little white cloud near the big smiling moon ~ You and I were alone and together ~ very much so!”

     My first letter to Paul:

     ~ Majorca is as lovely as we had expected it to be. ~

     An emerald isle set in a sea of pale blue green water framed with weathered gray brown rocks ~ as a guide book might describe it.

     The weather is sunny and bright ~ the beaches sandy ~ the sunburn I got very rosy ~ the two American boys co-operative ~ the Spanish men over friendly ~ the beautiful views and scenes for photo taking endless ~ our hotel room nice ~ the bathroom close ~ the view from our window lovely  ~ the flowers colorful and numerous ~ the things to see unlimited, ~ the weather warm ~ the first strawberries delicious ~

     But the real magic of Palma de Majorca was contained in a small white envelope bearing German stamps that was waiting for me when we arrived at the hotel.

     An excerpt from another letter to Paul:

     Dearest Magician,

     For it is truly magic what you have done to me ~ something strange in the heart area when I think of you, which is often.  Many times when you are not actively in front of my mind, it is as if you are standing closely behind me seeing

and experiencing all that I do.

     Then there was David, seven states away, a never seen, no previous contact distant cousins, alerted to each other by another cousin because we are both very interested in family history.  Frequent telephone calls and letters plus my business trip to his state and spending time with him changed our relationship.

     He sent me a card with a wonderful poem by Dorothy Colgan, it starts with:

“I want to be

the blue skies

in your grayest days,

the sweet dreams

in your loneliest nights,

the melody of love

in your life’s song…”

     In the card, among the wonderful words David wrote that he was the world's worst letter writer, then he wrote:

     "You have made me rich and happy beyond words.  It is not often a fantasy is found.  I have!  You are to me: Hills + rills, puppies, kittens, birds, flowers, sunsets, all beauty, excitement and laughter and more ~ much more."

    

    “I pray ~ please Lord let me be worthy of her and to return to her even a little of the joy she has given me and please make the rocks in our path small ones.  Thank you Lord for my love of Joan and hers for me.”

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     If you have never hand written a love letter, do it now, (a first version, then the final one) whether you are a teen with a first love or have been married to your dearest love for many years, put your love and admiration into handwritten words, not just on Valentines Day, but many times through the years.

I Will Write Love Letters

That Will Be Treasured Always

Three People Answer The Question...

     What did you especially like in 2016 that you want to continue in 2017?

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Dave Caffery, Executive Assistant, Berkeley Heights, New Jersey

     In 2016, I enjoyed many trips and new experiences with good friends and family.

     I disliked the terror worldwide and the increased danger of public transportation.

     In 2017, I look forward to continuing traditions with family and current friends as well as meeting other like-minded, new friends.

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Joan Nathanson of Hamiltton, Ontario, Canada

     Current occupation:  wife, mother and grandmother;  volunteer weekly community Laughter Yoga leader, spiritual dowser and mentor, copyeditor, soup and bread maker, sewer and knitter.

     In a nutshell, I enjoyed life – its challenges and opportunities for growth and service – in 2016, and look forward to the experiences which 2017 will bring.  While there is much uncertainty in our world, especially in light of environmental challenges and political developments, I find that help needed is available, as are opportunities to contribute to positive solutions.  Dowsing has helped me to tap into universal resources and cooperate with them so that my small efforts, contribute to peace, understanding and growth.

     Each stage of my life has brought me different challenges and opportunities.  While I liked being who I was, now is good (at age 78), and I expect that future learnings will be enlightening and valuable.  I notice this year that I have grown to appreciate more the complexity of life for each individual as well as for groups and nations.  I believe that sharing is the key to an abundant life.  Happy New Year to all!

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Brian Gonzalez, Customer Service Representative, Santa Ana, California:

     What I disliked about 2016, I dislike our divisive attitude toward our president elect.  While I disagree with the man, I wish him a great presidency in all good faith.

     I also lost my pet cat whom I’ve taken care of for over 15 years, due to a reckless driver.  Rocky will be missed, but I carry him in my heart.

     On to what I liked... When I first talked with you Joan, you told me about touching people’s lives and up until now, I always thought I didn't matter to people, it wasn't until recently that I discovered how many people I myself have affected in greatly positive ways.  One example, the most significant one was my friend who opened up to me about how I am one of the only people he feels he can trust since most of his life he's known thugs and addicts and he is trying his best to stay on the straight and narrow path.  He told me that he wants me to be by his side when his first son is delivered today December 18^th 2016, it feels like such a great honor to hear that from someone who matters to me and while there are many examples this is the one that feels most significant to me.

     Though I am young, I eagerly look forward to all the people and lives I will touch and cross paths with hopefully more and more each year.  It is going to be a great 2017!

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     How would you answer that question?  Think carefully about your answer, then put it on your computer’s screen saver and desktop.

I Often Affirm With Exactness

For All The Very Goods
That I Want In 2017

What Is The Connection Between Christmas And A Cat...

...on the beach?  Sandy Claws, of course.  Two hundred years ago (i.e. long ago) while purchasing a few Christmas items at various stores, I turned on my car's radio and just happened to encounter this gem.  At home, I had the good sense to promptly write the riddle, (it is not a joke) on the next year's calendar on the December page, which I did for several years until it became a part of my memory.  Unless someone has a cat, I keep this exclusively for December.

     In this time of anticipation, as well as trepidation, gentle humor is needed especially this month so I offer these to you.

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     It has been said that if there had been three Wise Women, instead of Three Wise Men, that they would have asked directions, arrived at the stable in time to clean it, had a large cloth to cover the opening to the stable (said to be a cave), delivered baby Jesus and brought with them appropriate gifts of food and baby things.

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     I have always been amazed that no one mentions the large manger in the stable, the Bible clearly states that when the Wise Men arrived at the stable, "They found Mary, Joseph and the baby in the manger."  The manger must have been big to have held the three of them.  Nice for Mary to lie down to rest, unusual to have the new father lie down after the birth of his baby, but he probably needed the rest after having to deliver the baby without ever seeing it done.

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     Someone asked Mary and Joseph why they always looked so sad in the paintings of them.

     "Because," replied Joseph, "we really wanted a girl."

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     That reminds me that in a section of a magazine of true happenings sent in by readers were two that are appropriate here.  ~ An advertising agency employee reported that his company had done a print ad for a new company that featured the Holy Family.  After submitting the ad, he had received a telephone call from the company rejecting the ad.  The reason given was,

"This is an up-to-date, modern company, we don't want copies of paintings, get photographs."

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     I have always found baffling the often heard friendly remark said by many people to friends, acquaintances and strangers, "If I don't see you, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."  This implies that if, perchance, they do see each other, to have an un-merry Christmas and an un-happy New Year.  Stranger.

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     The other true story was submitted by the friend of a teaching nun with a class of first graders.  She asked, "What is the name of the mother of Jesus?"

     "Mary," all the children chorused.

     "What is the name of the father of Jesus?"

     There was no response as the children sat quietly thinking, then one boy said excitedly, "I know, I know, Verge..."

     "Verge?" asked the baffled nun.

     "Yes," replied the boy, "Everybody knows that, Verge and Mary."

~ So these are my Gifts To You ~

Be certain to relate these to other people.

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Greetings: I would enjoy reading from you, contact me at joaneastben@mail.com and the best way for me to reach you.