Joan Eastman-Bennett's Helpful Blog

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Are You Making Yourself Sick?

On a call-in radio program recently, a woman said, "Although, I'm sick, I just had to call to tell you that I am sick and tired of all the yelling the candidates are doing, I am really tired of it! Neither one of them is acting with the dignity and good manners for a president. I am sick and tired of it all!"

Most likely, this woman does not have the slightest idea that she is strongly affirming for health conditions she would not want.
The woman is unknowingly experiencing the power of affirmations, repeatedly said words become reality.

Strange is that she has not listened to herself, to her own words. If someone were to call it to her attention, she would probably say as numerous other people have done and do ~ "Oh, its just an expression, it doesn't mean anything."

What is so difficult to understand about the simple word ~ sick, even young children know the meaning of that word as well as the equally as obvious word ~ tired. Most children have personally experienced the condition that those words describe and know that they are undesirable. Where between childhood and adulthood had common sense departed?

I am an expert on this subject because of the many unwanted conditions and situations that resulted from my previously said "ill chosen" words.

Frank is an intelligent man with numerous talents including being a gifted healer. There was one unnecessary word that he often used even when he gave talks.

I was just beginning to understand the power of words. I pondered his often used word, an idea came into my mind, a question to ask Frank, a very personal question, I did not know him very well, did I dare? I decided that God had given me this knowledge for a reason and therefore that I did not have a choice.

Taking a deep breather, I telephoned Frank and after telling him my name, I put the expected question aside and said it as a statement instead, "You have a continuing problem with constipation, I know because of what you regularly and often say."

"Well, yes," he said hesitantly, "but I certainly don't want it so what could I possibly be saying?"

"You are using the word ~ damn ~ and when it is said, it could be d~a~m, which means to stop anything behind it from continuing. Your body knows that this is a condition that you must really want because you say it so often."

"Are you sure that I use the word a lot, I don't remember..."

"Stop, never put the words, 'I don't' in front of the word...remember... that is also an affirmation and you want to always keep your memory and mind in excellent working condition."

"Do not substitute the word ~ darn ~ for damn, because that word means to 'sew together a hole.' Thus closing the opening.

I have been finding for myself and other people a substitute word, but for you, it would be better if you wrote the word on, at least, ten pieces of paper or index cards, then put a large black X over the word, place a card in every room in your apartment, one in both your car and your pant's packet." I told Frank, "Also, tell a close friend or someone you see often that you have been told that the word ~ damn ~ is not in keeping with your profession so anytime s/he hears you say the word to say ~ beep ~ and you will give her/him a dollar. Do not make any other changes. Telephone me when the condition no longer exists."

"It can't be that simple," Frank said, "but I'll try it."

"Trying will not work, that is a weak word. Say, 'I will do that' and there will be results."

"Be careful," I told Frank, "that when you do your affirmation which you should say several times a day, that you do not create the reverse condition."

About ten days later, my secretary reported a strange message on the answering machine, no name just, "All clear, thank you so much."

Read the excellent book,

"You Body Believes Every Word You Say"

by Barbara Hoberman Levine.

Say what you mean

And mean what you say

All parts of my body and mind

are in excellent condition

now and forever. ~

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Greetings: I have based many of these monthly writings on quotes from family and friends. What meaningful quotes have your family and/or friends said that you can share? Email the quote(s) and a sentence or two concerning each, plus your name, town and state to joaneastben@mail.com

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Forgiving Is Enabling

     Great multitudes of books and articles as well as sermons and lectures through the ages have been produced on the subject of forgiveness.

     However, the majority seem to have missed two major aspects.
          ~ To forgive is to allow a person to avoid taking responsibility for or to have any discomfort for an action.
          ~ To forgive allows the person "To get away with" unacceptable behavior."

     By absolving the act or occurrence, it removes the opportunity for the offender to have learned the needed life lessons.

     It is bad enough when a person dishonors you, but much worse is when you have so little respect for yourself that you allow yourself to be disrespected.

     Even if the offender says, "Please forgive me," this, "Kiss and make up" so-called solution is not the solution because it makes you an enabler.

     The word ~ enabler ~ was first in public awareness through Alcoholics Anonymous, referring to people who purchased alcoholic beverages for alcoholics.

     Those enablers thought that they were being nice, so too are the people who too quickly forgive someone who has said or done a mental or physical hurtful act or action.

     As soon as the offense occurs, if you are together, tell the offender, "Your remark is unkind (hurtful, disrespectful, uncalled for).

     An often good response, instead of an angry snap back comment is to quietly ask, "What was the purpose of your remark?"

     I was pleased with myself when I responded to an insulting remark by a so-called friend by saying "Your are really amazing, I know that you have had a great deal of practice to have truly mastered the art of the insulting, hurtful remark. If prizes were given, you would certainly win First Prize."

     If possible, I leave or if said on the telephone, I say, "Your comment is disrespectful" and I immediately discontinue the call.

     When the offender says, "Oh, I didn't really mean it."

     A response could be, "You are too smart (or intelligent) to say something that you do not mean."

     If an offender says, "Forgive me," reply with, "Why should I forgive you? What is the benefit of such an action? What will you do to balance your action if I decide later to do so?"

     I personally, and many other people have followed my advice after an unkind or insulting remark, I leave, I do not stay with the remark maker.

     One disrespectful, teasing or hurtful remark could, after a time, be forgiven, however, if such behavior continues, have respect for yourself ~ move on ~ to meet new to you people, who can become new friends and new experiences.

~ Think Through All Aspects Carefully,

Avoid Being An Enabler ~

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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Fathers Often Said Words

     Sad it is that only one woman and two men of the many people who I asked to tell me some of their father's often said words, could not think of even one single word.

     Were their fathers mute men? Did they never listen, really listen to what their fathers said? Were their fathers unimportant in their lives? Were all of those people so involved in their own life activities that they never made time to spend any with their fathers?

     Perhaps, their childhood and adulthood was not family oriented as was mine. Surprising too are the people with a living father, who were reluctant to discuss the topic with that parent .

~ ~ ~

"If you play hard than the other team,

you'll beat the other team."

David Caffery, Executive Assistant, Berkeley Heights, New Jersey says that his father regularly told him and his teammates of the travelling baseball team that he coached this worthwhile advice. If you really want to achieve a goal, you must work diligently to obtain it. Too many people seem to expect their goals to just magically slide into their home plate, while they leisurely watch from the side lines.

~ ~ ~

"Take a stand for something, or you will fall for anything."

Bob, manager of a large store in New Jersey immediately recalled that this famous quote by Alexander Hamilton is a favorite of his father's.

A worthy quote that has inspired many people through the years.

~ ~ ~

Joan Nathanson of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada sent a mini-biography of her most interesting, multi-skilled father. She wrote that, "My father's teaching career began in a one-room schoolhouse as soon as he was graduated from high school. He attended university, graduating in Honors Science and the Ontario College of Education. He began his secondary school teaching career and except for being seconded to teach radio to young soldiers during WW II, continued there to retirement. He and two other tech teachers developed the first radio and electronics courses in Ontario, and he authored the first high school correspondence course on electronics."

"After seeing a photo of water skiing in Austria in a Toronto newspaper, he built a pair of plywood skis and took me out on a lake to try water skiing. He also built a one-man helicopter that could be towed behind a boat. Students in his class built a TV when they were first coming into production. One year, they built an electronic organ, using reeds from old pump organs that had been donated to the project. He devised hand controls for a Morris Mini-Minor station wagon for a friend of mine who was a paraplegic so that she could be independently mobile."

"Dad had a very positive view on life: 'I can do anything anyone else can do, only slower.' That allowed him to try his hand at the things which interested him. It also excused him from worrying about what he couldn’t do."

~ ~ ~

I have quoted my Father, Loren Eastman-Bennett, numerous times in my varied writing though the years as I will continue to do. One quote not previously mentioned is ~ "Bravale dicto" ~ a phrase that my Father often used primarily when introducing or showing my sister, our Mother and me some aspect of nature. These words were usually spoken in a quiet tone sometimes even in a whisper when we were quietly beckoned to a window to observe a nearby bird, to see a glorious sunset, to watch dramatic lightning flashes in a night sky, interspaced with dramatic growls of thunder.

On a mid-summer's eve, my Father woke my sister and me then whispered the two words as he beckoned to us to follow him outside, there we found a gentle rain in which we all, in pajamas and mother in her nightgown, walked out into, enjoying the wet grass under our bare feet and watching how a single rain drop made its way across a leaf.

So many wonderful memories associated with two words that my Father had learned in a college Latin class play in which he spoke those two words.

Bravale dicto translates as ~ "Wonders to behold," which is what he introduced to my sister and me.

~ ~ ~

If you are a father, what words or quotes will your child or children associate with you, or will you be a blank?

Make space in your life

for long talks with your Father

just two of you, nothing electric.

Share a sunset

while sitting side by side

in lawn chairs.

How Well Do You Really Know Your Father?

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Thursday, April 28, 2016

Many Mothers Messages

On a Mother's Day, a radio reporter took a microphone out to a city sidewalk to ask a question of pedestrians. "What words did or does your mother say often?"

One man's quick response was

"It is nice to be important,

and

Important to be nice."

Just from those few words, an impression of a caring and loving mother comes to mind with a knowing that this man's childhood was happy.

~ ~ ~

In great contrast is the firefighter, whose reply to the question was "Don't beat up on your brothers." He said that he was the oldest of seven boys and that they were always fighting.

"What kind of childhood did you have?" I asked him.

"Awful, my parents were always yelling at each other and us."

How much better would his childhood and parent's life have been if the family motto had been that of the earlier quote.

The word ~ don't ~ is not a teaching word unless it is followed by ~ do ~ words. Phrases such as ~ "Be nice" ~ have no value unless a child has been taught what ~ nice ~ is and how to do.

~ ~ ~

"When in Greece

do as the Greeks do."

Nancy Morrisson, Livingston, New Jersey.

A receptionist at Restoration Pro said that her mother wanted her to honor the traditions and customs of others.

All American passports should have those words printed prominently on them to discourage the often disgraceful behavior and demands of too many Americans when visiting other countries.

~ ~ ~

A friend responded to the question with silence. I started to repeat the question, but she interrupted to say, "I heard the question, I was trying to think of something, my mother was a party person, she was always going to parties or giving parties. She did say that a woman should always have a secret bank account from her husband."

~ ~ ~

Jane Lyle Wise, Georgetown, Texas

A retired nurse. She said that when she wanted to do something other children were doing, her mother often did not allow her to do so saying, "I'm only responsible for you not the other children."

A wise mother sets her own family values and maintains them.

~ ~ ~

Lindsay Garza, Lenexa, Kansas

A telephone caller. "Mothers are never sick."

That also indicates a loving, concerned mother.

~ ~ ~

Coming first into my mind about the most often used words of my own mother are:

"I love you, honey" and "I am so proud of you."

These two sentences are powerful life energizers for anyone of any age, especially a child.

~ ~ ~

If you are a mother do in-depth thinking about what words your children will automatically associate with you.

Mothers Are Wonderful

What Would We Have Done Without Them

Often Tell Your Mother You Love Her

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Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Never In Thought Or Speech Will 'You' Claim...

When writing a long running magazine series on the power of words, I converted the age old saying of ~ "Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it" into ~

Never

In Thought or Speech

Will I

Claim or Personalize

A Situation or A Condition or A Disease

That I Do Not Want

For Myself

For Others

This means that under no circumstances should you (or I) ever put the words ~ I have ~ in front of any 'unwanteds'. If you discover yourself thinking or saying an 'unwanted,' firmly say, ~ 'Delete, delete, at no time will I claim that which I do not want.

Often thought thoughts and spoken words/phrase become affirmation and affirmation become reality.

A great multitude of people found that Affirmation to be exceedingly helpful and made copies of it to put in their car and at various places in their living and work places.

There is a another version of that original Affirmation, you choose which one suits you best or alternate them ~

Always

In Thought & In Speech

I Will

Claim & Personalize

The Very Best and Perfect Outcome

To A Situation, A Condition, Or A Disease

That I Need or Want

For Myself

For Others

~ All Is Well and Good In My Life ~

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Hello 2016, Now That You Are Older....

     Two, going on three months old and more 'with it,' as could be said, having finally recovered from the trauma caused by all those people worldwide who made such a racket when you first arrived with their yelling, using all manner of things to make even louder noise, fireworks, firing cannons, church bells ringing and in the south of this country, when the clock strikes midnight, everyone rushes outside with kitchen pots and lids to bang together as they run as fast as they can around the house twice.

     I am certain that even by the beginning of February, that you had realized how incredibly.....well......crazy many people often are.

     In the Great Instruction Book that has been passed from one Year to the next since recorded time began, it states that when humans repeatedly say a phrase or a sentence, it means that they really need or want whatever, and that the Year needs to contact the proper forces to make it possible.

     The tornadoes and the hurricanes that propel people and solid objects despite what weathermen may say are really the result of the increasing use of the dreadful phrase ~ (2016, Know that in no way am I saying these words, I am quoting) "I can't wrap my head around it." Yuk! 'Grisly and dreadful,' you say 2016, and is it not strange that the speakers do not know the terrible results of repeatedly saying such a phrase. Repetition of words and sentences create affirmations which become reality.

     "Is there a meaning beside their wish to have their heads become boneless thus flexible enough to go on several sides of a solid object?"

     "Good question, 2016, you are smart for your young age. They might mean what was previously spoken as ~ "It is difficult to understand."

     2016, have you heard any strange phrases yet, besides the ones from politicians?

     The can? Yes, that is another strange one ~ "Kick the can down the road." The basic question should be....Why? A child might do it just to make an annoying sound but an adult, why would anyone want to admit to such immature behavior?

     2016, I know that you are as baffled as I am about the can kicking ~...........yes, those are good questions, 'Where is the can kept when it is not being kicked? 'Is everyone kicking the same can? If so, how does it get from wherever ~ down is, up to the next person?'

     'That is smart thinking 2016, your lessons in logical thinking that I sent to you from my father are advancing nicely.

     'While it is obvious that down means below where you or it is, there is another meaning relating to streets ~ the building and house numbers. The lowest numbers start at the center of town generally, and get higher the further away they are.

     Confusing to many people in their twenties, is when the word ~ down ~ means the south, be it city or country. Anyone older knows that the word down ~ relates to those wonderful and fascinating folded paper things (usually) called ~ Maps ~. Generally any area below the half way horizontally is considered ~ South ~. In this country, ~ Down South ~ is lower than just south.

     So you see, 2016, "Kicking a can down the road' can have a number of meaning.

     "Is there anything in the can?"

     Good question, 2016, I wonder for the first time if the can kicker was trying to mix the can's contents, I use to mix paint by letting the cans roll down my steep driveway.

     So 2016, disregard statements such as those two and be aware of others like them so you do not waste your time.

     Many people and I, 2016, ask that you go more slowly, you are going by much too fast.

~ Relax, enjoy where you are ~

Joan Eastman-Bennett

For Jose: See I remembered

Joaneastben@mail.com

Friday, January 29, 2016

Steal So No One Will Ever Know

     Was it love at first sight when you saw the charming oil painting of a young child's look of wonder and delight when a beautiful orange butterfly alighted on a nearby yellow rose, and you knew that you just had to have that painting? No need to request James Bond to do a daring, midnight heist via a long rope through a skylight.

     Nor do you need to develop accuracy with a slingshot in order to decommission the streetlight near the jewelry store window and sharpen your glass cutter in order to take the stunning, ruby and diamond necklace beautifully displayed on royal blue velvet ~ even though you really want it.

     I have devised an excellent way to steal items without anyone ever knowing; as I have been doing for many years and have taught others how to also do.

     No tools are needed to ~ mentally ~ take the 'I LOVE IT' item home with me.

     A major addition to my collection occurred when I visited my cousin, Vievia in a town near Boston and she took me to a special collection of Tiffany Silver at the famous Museum of Fine Arts. On the drive there, I explained how I steal from museums, art galleries, stores and more recently from fine specialty mail order catalogs, Vievia loved the idea and was eager to start her own collection that day.

     The guard began to eye us with concern when Vievia and I discussed which one of the many silver objects handsomely displayed on pink linen we were each considering taking home. Concerned, until I explained to him and several of the other exhibition viewers, my 'Steal It Home' collecting.

     Among the many advantages of this project is that many people can have the same piece. My listeners, including the guard, were entranced and went back to look at everything again. Several people and Vievia agreed with my choices and, also, took with them, a silver tea caddy with enameled Chrysanthemums on it and its top as well as the silver water pitcher with the tall enameled cattails on it. No more than one piece is generally allowed from each museum or gallery, but an exception was made this time to allow for two items. If another 'I Love It' piece is wanted, then one would need to be relinquished.

     Carry in a purse or pocket, a pen and a small notebook to record the where and what, size and pertinent facts of each of your items as well as a sketch of it.

     As my collection increased, I soon realized that a large Display Room was needed. Considering my house's layout, the best place for the Display Room was off of the left side adjacent to the Dining Room.

     Although there is a close neighbor house, it took just a moment of mental activity to push it and its property further to the left, so that the length of half a football field was created thus allowing ample space for the currently planned display area as well as future expansions.

     The land on which my house rests slopes towards the back, thus allowing the new room to have its front partly into the hill, while at the back, there can be a full height lower level that can open out to a terrace and garden where garden sculptures could be displayed.

     What fun and joy to imagine all this and to think of variations.

     That lower level can contain a charming small apartment for the person who will curate the collection, maintain the dust-free equipment and see to the proper installation as I have designed for each new 'I Love It' item.

     The Dining Room was made larger and the majority of the left wall replaced with floor to ceiling glass so that the Display Room and its treasures can be easily seen by me and a person with good visualization skills.

     Often at night, sometimes while I am in pain, I mentally wander through my Treasure Room to look and again enjoy the Tiffany Silver pieces, the three large Chinese Kites hanging from the rafters at the far end of the room, some pieces by a renowned fabric artist, a large watercolor painting by a client of Queen Anne's Lace, a favorite wild flower and so many other treasured pieces and memories; it is most gratifying and calming.

     Apartment dwellers, fear not, for you too can have a Display Room for your 'Steal It Home' treasures. Just mentally push or slide over the neighboring apartment that is adjacent to your living room's side wall. Then visualize a handsome wide, arched doorway with double doors that open into the new room. If there is furniture along that wall where the doors are, the furniture can be screwed to the doors, so when they are opened, that furniture will move into the next room.

     You can expand your visions by using an architectural program on your computer to create plan and elevation drawings of your Display Room, as seen from the outside, the view from inside the house looking into your Treasure Room and various vistas within that room.

~ Enjoy Stealing So You Can Have A Treasure Room
To Enjoy Forever~

Joan Eastman-Bennett