Are You Polite And Respectful To Yourself?

     No doubt you would be surprised or annoyed or dismayed or angry if someone was to say to you ~ "You're stupid," "Idiot," "loser," "you never do anything right," and "no one likes you."

     These are only a few of the dreadful comments typical of what far too many people regularly say to themselves.

     You can not control what others say, but you can control what you say to yourself.

     Regularly said words and phrases are affirmations, and affirmations become reality.

     Do you really want what you have been repeatedly affirming for yourself?

    In my work as a Life Improvement Advisor, one of my clients had two major concerns ~ ~ that she was not as efficient in her work as she had previously been and that people seemed to be avoiding her.

     Knowing that often situations come into being by what is said, I advised Allison, to purchase a small plain black covered note book with a small attached pen, then to start wearing clothes with a pocket into which the note book could hide when not in use, yet readily be available.

     The note book's purpose is so that she can note any phrases that she uses (says or thinks) that contain the word ~ I ~ as well as single derogative words.  (Add the date and time to each entry.)

     "I will do as you suggest," Allison said, "but I don't know how this could possibly solve my problems."

     Just four days later, Allison telephoned to tell me ~ "I wrote the Affirmation you gave me in the front of my new little black note book, I had hardly finished doing so, when I realized what I had just said to myself ~ 'I'll never remember to do this; 'This won't help me.'  Before I even got to the office, I had six entries.  As you advised, I said the affirmation to myself just as I entered, and for the first time, I really heard myself saying all of what you call Lethal Words, my note book is almost filled."

     There are two kinds of Lethal Word/Phrase speakers ~ those who know what they are saying but do not realize the harm of doing so and then the other people like Allison who are unaware of the lethal words they say because they have said them so often that it has become an automatic response.

     It is usually easier to replace or substitute than it is to eliminate, besides in the case of Lethal Words, the damage done needs to be repaired with a strong dose of positive affirmations, such as, 'I am a smart person,' 'I am proud of myself,' 'you did a good job.'

     Do not wait for others to compliment you, inwardly tell yourself complimentary words.

     If you drop something, substitute your usual "Clumsy" with a simple "Whoops" unless there is major damage, then another response is needed, but speaking harshly of yourself will not help the situation in the slightest

     Following my advice, Allison explained to her co-workers what she had learned, asked for their help in discovering the "put down" words she said to herself and apologize to them for having to listen for so long.  In helping her, many of them discovered needed changes in their own vocabulary.

 

I use positive words and phrases

that indicate the fact that

I am always polite and respectful to myself.  

Do You Know The Other Side Of Yourself?

     Look closely at your life, have you always done what is termed "usual."?

     What talents and abilities lie in the never seen deep shadows of your every day life?

     Have you dared to be daring?  Not a risky or dangerous or illegal or immoral type of dare, but rather what might be usual in the lives of other people, just not in yours.

     It is smugly gratifying to do, at least several times in your life, an activity that results in family, friends and even new acquaintances to exclaim in astonishment
"Wow, I can't believe you did that!!!"

     Two, of many, such occurrences in my life were:
     1~  During college, I had the opportunity to learn to milk a cow, although never thought of before.  I joined a Dairy Club, learned how to groom a cow, Debbie, then to show her in a judged Dairy Show;  a unique and enjoyable experience for someone raised in suburbs. 

     2~  Many years later, I regularly taught at a large Adult School, whose brochure listed a multitude of different courses.  At the beginning of each semester, I checked the brochure to see where my courses were listed, in so doing, I kept seeing a course on Belly Dancing.  One such encounter, followed by my usual sarcastic, "Why would any one want to do that?!" brought forth from my Inner Self, the surprising words, "Why not you?"

     "Ridiculous!" replied my every day self.  Upon further thought however, I dared myself to take the course, not telling any one about doing so except Mora, who I convinced to go with me despite her reluctance.  The result, I did poorly, possibly because   I laughed so much at my mirrored reflection, but I learned a basic move that is a good waist thinner.

     However, Mora did so well that the instructor hired her to preform together.  Mora dared to take the course, thus discovered a talent that she had no idea that she possessed.

     After hearing one of my talks, a man laughingly dared himself to take a knitting course, which he expected to be boring, but found it so interesting that he soon became an expert in intricately patterned sweaters of his own design.  This talent led to a small business of individually custom designed and knitted sweaters for people glad to pay well.

     A dare is one you quietly make to yourself, never one put forth by someone else. 

     A true dare is done alone,

     stepping out into an unknown

     to make it an in-known. 

     ~ Find Some Of The Other Sides Of Yourself ~

 

~ Dare To Be Daring ~

Count The Blessings That YOU Have Been To Others

     An often heard, famous quote is ~ "Count your blessings," in other words, all for which one is thankful.

     Equally as important as what comes in to you is what you send or give to others, whether people, places, plants, animals, insects, buildings and all matter of "things."

     In both my office and in personal files I long ago established Pink File folders labeled ~ ~

     ~Nice Letters For Discouraging Days~ 

 

     Recently, while belatedly doing long overdue filing, I encountered many lovely, loving thank you cards to add to my personal Pink File Folder.  Within the folder were numerous others that were out of my current realm of consciousness.

 

     While so engaged, I realized the many merits of everyone having a Pink File that contains letters, cards and notes all thanking for a thoughtful gift or a thoughtful something that had been given or done.

 

     Also, when someone unexpectedly compliments with special words, neatly write it with the date, then put that in the folder.

 

     When reading the contents of my Pink Folder, I found that I was repeatedly saying to myself "That was nice of me," and glad that I had obviously been a blessing to that person. 

 

     A Pink Folder triggers good memories of people and places, always important at any stage of one's life.

 

     'Your Pink Folder is just for you, so keep it in an out-of-the-way place, but do the kindnesses that will generate written thank you's to add to your folder.

 

     ~Count The Blessings That YOU Have Been To Others~

 



Deflecting Questions You Do Not Want To Answer

     "Just because someone asks you a question, does not mean that you have to answer it if you do not want to do so."  advised John Thomas Reid.

     "Most people feel obligated to answer even when they do not like either the question or the person asking the question."

     Of course, there are some legal and medical questions that require an answer, but those are not the annoying ones.

     It was in a supermarket that I overheard a woman standing nearby say to another, "I still can't believe what Betty asked me yesterday, I didn't want to tell her, but what could I do?"

     So I told them John's advice and what she could have done.

     1 ~ Do not answer, instead in a pleasant tone ask a simple question of her.  ~ "Why do you ask?"

     This unexpected response usually results in a flustered response of, "er, a, um, well."

  You can quickly follow that by firmly stating, "Tell me, I really want to know." ~ If you do want to know.

     Or if you have no interest in her reasons because what she asked is none of her business but you still want to maintain a relationship with her.
     2 ~ Change the subject quickly.

     Say something like, "I heard a clever riddle that I know you will appreciate, what stays in one corner but can travel around the world?  I know with your love of travel (if she does) you would like this, the answer is ~ a stamp.  Isn't that clever?"  Then ask her about her vacation, a subject most people enjoy describing.
     3 ~ Leave, just simply say 'I must leave now.'  Then do so, no matter what she says.

                                                               

 

     I was in a store when I encountered a woman who had taken one of my adult school courses several years earlier.  After greetings, she said, "May I ask you a question?"

     "Yes" I answered.

     "How old are you?"

     I told her that I affirmed that all was well in her life.

     She asked "Aren't you going to answer my question?"

     Aha, there is now another question that will often distract from the first one.

     I answered, "No."

     "But I just asked you."

     "You asked if you could ask me a question, to which I said yes you could ask me a question.  You did not ask if I would answer the question that you next asked.

     "Well, will you answer my question?"

     "Which one?" I responded.

     "Oh, never mind, nice to see you." she said as she went on her way.

 

 

You Need Not Answer All The Questions

That You Are Asked

I Am Your Brain, Why Are You Sabotaging Me?

     How would you like it if you had important thoughts and ideas to tell, but you were never given an opportunity to get a sentence or even a word out, before you were drowned, by voices and/or music (usually with words) of others?

     Why do you consider what comes from the brains of other people to be superior to me, your very own wonderful Brain?

     Your lack of respect for my multitude of knowledge and talents is difficult to believe.

     How can you know of the music, the meaningful information for others, the poetry and all the other aspects of me, if you always smother me?

     I need times of quietness, not bombardment.  In quiet times, you can ask me to make known to you your many past lives for you have had them and aspects of some carry over into your current life whether you believe it or not.

     You sleep with a radio turned on, the television is set to act as your alarm clock in the morning and share your breakfast time, before turning it off, you put that dreadful, very harmful to me, 'thing' with the electromagnetic fields, close to me  on one of your ears so that I will not have even a second of time alone with you.

     And so it continues all day, in your car or public transportation, people talking, but never, ever any us-time.

     If you keep insulting me, I will start retreating within, some will term it "memory loss," but there is nothing wrong with my memory, it is the years of being unwanted except for selected duties.

     Soon I will hibernate deep within myself
         where no one will ever be able to find me again ~ but know
              that I, your Brain, tried,
                                  I really tried ~
                                         but you never listened,
                                                           you never ever
                                                                            listened.

"The Failure To Have Never Failed Is A Major Failure"

     This major life learning lesson is by an unknown author. 8/20/14

     There was a great deal of snow that winter and the separate garage of our family's house was connected to the street by a very long driveway.

     A snow plow could not be used because not only was there no place to pile the pushed snow, but also the driveway surface was crushed stone, therefore, my Father had always shoveled it, but now he was recovering from a heart attack.

     Although making many telephone calls, Mother was unable to locate anyone to shovel ~ but the driveway had to be cleared.  So very tall, thin, little energy, un-athletic me had to do it.

     Following my Father's advise, I slowly lifted the snow off in layers.  Mother monitored my progress and insisted that I come in the house for a rest every 20 minutes.

     At winter's end, there had been six major snow storms and I had shoveled during all of them.

     To utilize my now strong muscles to the best advantage, I decided to join the canoe club to which many of my friends belonged, but in order to do so, I had to take and pass a Red Cross canoe course.  I did not anticipate any problem for I was a good swimmer (and could float on my back for long periods of time, even doze while doing so) and I knew how to correctly paddle and steer a canoe.

     However, it was the final test that was the real test ~ while alone in a canoe, in deep water ~ to get out of the canoe without getting any water in it and while holding on to it with one hand, which ruled out jumping or diving from it.

     Then, while in the water, to get back into the canoe without taking half of the lake in the canoe while doing so.

     Eventually all the class members graduated except for three of us, but the instructor allowed us to return to keep trying.

     One of our three gave up and the other mastered the technique ~ and I still struggled.  Never had I been so determined to succeed, but I was beginning to be discouraged.

     One day, after another unsuccessful half hour, a woman who was helping me get the canoe out of the water, commented "Sorry you failed again."

     Most fortunately, my instructor heard the comment and said words that I have always remembered ~

     "No, she has not failed, she has come closer to success."

     With that encouragement, I took the canoe out again and was able to finally do both maneuvers correctly ~ thus qualifying me for my Red Cross Certification.  There were many enjoyable trips with my friends.

     A well known saying is ~

"If at first you do not succeed

try, try, try again."

 

     The author wisely did not write ~ try again ~ or even ~ try, try again, but instead knew that for some people (like me) extra effort would be needed.

 

     The repetition of the word ~ try ~ compensates for the fact that it is a weak, insecure, maybe-ish word.

 

     What loose strings of projects and endeavors are hanging from your life?  Did you stop after encountering a knot or three?

 

     Start the project again, avoid saying that you are going back to it, back is past, go forward with your project perhaps, finding another way of doing it.

 

     On the street facing sign board of a small rural church were these important words ~

 

"Failure is the beginning of success."

Have A Happy ~ ~

     On a nightly news television program, there was a Weather Woman who ended each of her reports with ~ "Have a happy ~ ~"

     I liked the concept and started using it.

     Its specialness lies in the fact that it is unlimited.

The usual parting wishes have a time limit.
                      ~ "Have a nice day."
                                      What about tomorrow? 
                                      Or the next day?
                      ~ "Have a nice evening."
                                      How long is an evening? 
                                      When does an evening become a night?

     The narrowness of these wishes infers that when a day becomes an evening or an evening becomes night that the wisher does not care what happens thereafter.

     While the words ~ Have a happy ~ ~ opens all sorts of possible coming happiness; they trigger the mind of the receiver to numerous types of 'happys' that could be selected.

     Focusing on the good and the happy will usually bring it into being.

     Make your wishes to others wide, avoid the narrow.

Therefore, I most sincerely say to you,

the reader of these words

 

Have A Happy ~ ~