What Is The Connection Between Christmas And A Cat...

...on the beach?  Sandy Claws, of course.  Two hundred years ago (i.e. long ago) while purchasing a few Christmas items at various stores, I turned on my car's radio and just happened to encounter this gem.  At home, I had the good sense to promptly write the riddle, (it is not a joke) on the next year's calendar on the December page, which I did for several years until it became a part of my memory.  Unless someone has a cat, I keep this exclusively for December.

     In this time of anticipation, as well as trepidation, gentle humor is needed especially this month so I offer these to you.

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     It has been said that if there had been three Wise Women, instead of Three Wise Men, that they would have asked directions, arrived at the stable in time to clean it, had a large cloth to cover the opening to the stable (said to be a cave), delivered baby Jesus and brought with them appropriate gifts of food and baby things.

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     I have always been amazed that no one mentions the large manger in the stable, the Bible clearly states that when the Wise Men arrived at the stable, "They found Mary, Joseph and the baby in the manger."  The manger must have been big to have held the three of them.  Nice for Mary to lie down to rest, unusual to have the new father lie down after the birth of his baby, but he probably needed the rest after having to deliver the baby without ever seeing it done.

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     Someone asked Mary and Joseph why they always looked so sad in the paintings of them.

     "Because," replied Joseph, "we really wanted a girl."

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     That reminds me that in a section of a magazine of true happenings sent in by readers were two that are appropriate here.  ~ An advertising agency employee reported that his company had done a print ad for a new company that featured the Holy Family.  After submitting the ad, he had received a telephone call from the company rejecting the ad.  The reason given was,

"This is an up-to-date, modern company, we don't want copies of paintings, get photographs."

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     I have always found baffling the often heard friendly remark said by many people to friends, acquaintances and strangers, "If I don't see you, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."  This implies that if, perchance, they do see each other, to have an un-merry Christmas and an un-happy New Year.  Stranger.

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     The other true story was submitted by the friend of a teaching nun with a class of first graders.  She asked, "What is the name of the mother of Jesus?"

     "Mary," all the children chorused.

     "What is the name of the father of Jesus?"

     There was no response as the children sat quietly thinking, then one boy said excitedly, "I know, I know, Verge..."

     "Verge?" asked the baffled nun.

     "Yes," replied the boy, "Everybody knows that, Verge and Mary."

~ So these are my Gifts To You ~

Be certain to relate these to other people.

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