These are only a few of the dreadful comments typical of what far too many people regularly say to themselves.
You can not control what others say, but you can control what you say to yourself.
Regularly said words and phrases are affirmations, and affirmations become reality.
Do you really want what you have been repeatedly affirming for yourself?
In my work as a Life Improvement Advisor, one of my clients had two major concerns ~ ~ that she was not as efficient in her work as she had previously been and that people seemed to be avoiding her.
Knowing that often situations come into being by what is said, I advised Allison, to purchase a small plain black covered note book with a small attached pen, then to start wearing clothes with a pocket into which the note book could hide when not in use, yet readily be available.
The note book's purpose is so that she can note any phrases that she uses (says or thinks) that contain the word ~ I ~ as well as single derogative words. (Add the date and time to each entry.)
"I will do as you suggest," Allison said, "but I don't know how this could possibly solve my problems."
Just four days later, Allison telephoned to tell me ~ "I wrote the Affirmation you gave me in the front of my new little black note book, I had hardly finished doing so, when I realized what I had just said to myself ~ 'I'll never remember to do this; 'This won't help me.' Before I even got to the office, I had six entries. As you advised, I said the affirmation to myself just as I entered, and for the first time, I really heard myself saying all of what you call Lethal Words, my note book is almost filled."
There are two kinds of Lethal Word/Phrase speakers ~ those who know what they are saying but do not realize the harm of doing so and then the other people like Allison who are unaware of the lethal words they say because they have said them so often that it has become an automatic response.
It is usually easier to replace or substitute than it is to eliminate, besides in the case of Lethal Words, the damage done needs to be repaired with a strong dose of positive affirmations, such as, 'I am a smart person,' 'I am proud of myself,' 'you did a good job.'
Do not wait for others to compliment you, inwardly tell yourself complimentary words.
If you drop something, substitute your usual "Clumsy" with a simple "Whoops" unless there is major damage, then another response is needed, but speaking harshly of yourself will not help the situation in the slightest
Following my advice, Allison explained to her co-workers what she had learned, asked for their help in discovering the "put down" words she said to herself and apologize to them for having to listen for so long. In helping her, many of them discovered needed changes in their own vocabulary.
I use positive words and phrases
that indicate the fact that
I am always polite and respectful to myself.
